Al Qawaneen 11 Lil Jadhabiah | Michelle Tillis Lederman

I used to think I knew most there was to know about connecting with others and building relationships, but one day my belief completely changed. This happened while I was teaching a class at New York University. The course was about corporate communication, taught by second-year students in the College of Business Administration. Students in this class are supposed to learn strategic techniques in order to communicate effectively. Although the course covered a wide range of topics during the semester—from listening comprehension to oral and written presentation, my general message was the same throughout: You should have a purpose in every communication. I told the students that if you do not set your goal, you will waste your time and make your listener lose patience. I reiterated that message whenever the opportunity arose. One day, I asked my classmates the following question, “What do you think I want to achieve in this semester? What is my purpose?” A young man in the first row raised his hand enthusiastically, and said to me with a broad smile: “You want us to like you!” I was taken aback by his comment, and my answer came quickly and sounded cold; I said sarcastically: “No, that's not my goal. I don't care whether you like me or not." But when I thought about this incident later, I realized that my answer was nothing more than a disguise. I really wanted them to like me, of course I want to be liked. Who wouldn't like that? What bothered me the most was that my reaction to the student's comment was harsh and blunt, as I was disturbed by the accuracy of his assessment. Even if I wanted to admit that I wanted to be admired, of course I didn't want my class to know this; I used to think that the person who wants to be admired is weak, emotionally deprived, and totally unlovable. Up to this point I am not sure if the student's comment was pedantic or honest, but regardless, it made a huge impact on my life; It got me thinking about likeability, and not just why we want to be liked—but why you want to be liked. This incident in the classroom changed my course of action, my approach to teaching and training, and my methods of building relationships and networks. I now focus on the importance of liking – being liked by others, liking ourselves, and in turn liking the people we meet. Many networking experts get people to strategize and act very deliberately, focusing on how they interact with attendees at an event and seeking to interview stakeholders; However, the act of meeting people and seeking relationships can seem like a stressful chore, and when you feel like you're doing something because you have to rather than because you want to, it's hard to motivate yourself to do it in the first place, let alone do it well. But contrary to what many networking experts advise (and I used to think too), not every communication has to have a specific purpose or purpose. Because building relationships is not about deals - it's about communication, about creating opportunities for real and honest interaction, about benefiting all involved, about being liked. But contrary to what many networking experts advise (and I used to believe), not every communication has to have a specific purpose or purpose. We don't need to focus precisely on the benefit of the conversation; Because building relationships is not about deals – it's about communication, about creating opportunities for real and honest interaction, about benefiting all involved, about being liked. But contrary to what many networking experts advise (and I used to believe), not every communication has to have a specific purpose or purpose. We don't need to focus precisely on the benefit we will get from the conversation; Because building relationships is not about deals - it's about communication, about creating opportunities for real and honest interaction, about benefiting all involved, about being liked.